Saturday, December 9, 2006

Dhoom 2: Attack of the Slow-Motion Scene

I saw Dhoom 2: Attack of the Slow-Motion Scene (D2ASMS) yesterday. I'd really liked the first one; Dhoom was relatively short, fast-paced, to-the-point and the music was decent so the songs were bearable on-screen. D2ASMS...ugh. What a bad, bad, bad movie.

WARNING: the rest of the post might contain spoilers about the wafer-thin plot of Dhoom 2. If you're exceptionally eager to watch the movie and don't want to ruin any of the non-existent suspense, kindly skip.

D2ASMS has about ten minutes of actual story line, stretched to over 2.5 hours using a slo-mo sequence at the start of virtually every scene (you know the kind, used in Hindi movies to introduce the hero, with the fancy music in the background!). The difference here being that they slo-mo every. time. Hrithik. does. anything. at. all. It's. like. reading. a. book. with. a. fullstop. after. every. word.

Not just Hrithik, in fact - they also do it with Aishwarya, Abhishek, Bipasha and Bipasha's twin sister...who suddenly turns up out of nowhere (co-incidentally, the original Bipasha's character suddenly disappears into nowhere around the same time!)

Irritating, pointless songs keep turning up at regular, way-too-many intervals, and they all sound similar to the original Dhoom theme - not really a surprise, seeing as the music comes from Mr. "Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai" Pritam…

The movie has quite a bit of comedy, unfortunately unintentional, in the form of some hilariously implausible crime scenes. Imagine 7-8 guards circling a huge diamond, failing to notice a small book-size robot that walks between their feet, steals the diamond and replaces it *with a holographic image*. The main point of all robberies seems to be to say, "Hrithik's toooo cool…see, he can get away with robberies that no one else could get away with!". Which I agree with, primarily because anyone else would have to battle not just the cops, but also common sense and logic - Hrithik obviously doesn't have to face those two in the movie!

There's some bewildering character development also happening side-by-side. Bipasha the cop, incredibly angry with Hrithik, tears up her flight ticket to show that she's not going anywhere till she catches him. And guess what? That's her last scene in the movie. Hrithik robs by formula - attacking on specific dates, at specific places according to where he wants to leave his signature next. Somehow that formula never gets mentioned or applied after the first twenty minutes of the movie...sigh.

Aishwarya's done a great job in the movie - for the first three minutes or so. Then she starts speaking. Ouch. Aishwarya saying "Are you checking me out?" to Hrithik is enough to make anyone wish that the multiplexes would just put all of New York's rejected TransFats into the popcorn; it's a less painful death. Someone please teach this woman acting, it's been long enough.

And, of course, the other attractions: rib-tickling comedy (how could anything with Uday Chopra in it be without?), and a "sizzling" romance between Hrithik and Aishwarya (with enough holes in the development to give swiss cheese a serious complex)…leaving about fifteen minutes for all the action sequences. And about thirteen of these fifteen minutes are in, you guessed it, slow motion.


Pranay said...

You bet. I agree@Ash. She's the single most disgusting actress(?) around. Her voice is like a saccharine drip. Sucks man. I hoped D2 flopped, but just read somewhere its made a lot of dough in the US? Why, why, I ask?

Ashwin said...

homo...ur so like ANTI...and as u can still very jobless!!

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